Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize