ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Come share oat with me in your robe
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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