I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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