Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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