used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
