she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
There are leaves in my underwear?
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