i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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