he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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