is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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