very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
