he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
