I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
