I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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