If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
