can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
