Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You are a genius and a whore.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize