Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
