What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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