worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
