escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
