Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
