All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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