it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
