Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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