NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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