I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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