talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
