You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You smell like stripper and shame
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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