doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
