Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
