do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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