im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
