I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
