I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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