definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize