At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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