I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize