Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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