Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
