I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
