I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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