the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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