Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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