Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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