Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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