What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize