Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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