do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
