He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
