Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
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I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
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The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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