VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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