i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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