Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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