Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
