I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
