remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
