I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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