Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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