Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
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She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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