One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
