the day after is always just damage control
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize