the day after is always just damage control
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
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Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
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He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida